Well, Tell Them (anonymously) With Dicks For Congress!
If there’s one thing that everyone on both sides of the aisle can agree on, it’s that no one is happy with Congress. They don’t get anything done, they fight with one another like children raised by wolves, and despite all that, they always have their hand out asking for donation$ so that they can “fight the good fight”. Which we’re guessing, means look busy but get nothing accomplished.Â It’s Time To Send Them A Message They’ll Understand Perfectly!Â
To Send A Bag Of Dicks To Congress It’s Just $12.00!
We’ll donate $2.00 to the charity of your choice from each purchase.Â
If you’re fed up with Congress, now you can tell them, with candy dicks, thanks to Dicks For Congress. For just $12.00 including shipping, we’ll send a Bag Of Dicks to anyone in Congress that you choose. You will also have the option to include a personal note, and it can be published online for that Congressional member to read and cherish forever. This is 100% anonymous and protected under the 1st Amendment.Â You’re well within your rights to criticize any of these elected officials and object to their job performance. You’re protectedÂ by the 1st AmendmentÂ even if you send phallic candy with a note that says, Eat A Bag Of Dicks!
Here’s What Any Congressional Member Of Your Choosing Will Receive From DicksForCongress.com
- A Bag Of Candy Dicks From
- A Note Card That Invites Them To Eat A Bag Of Dicks!
- Should you choose to include it, a personal note from you that can be archivedÂ on the internet for forever! Muahahahahah! (Even if you leave a note, this is still anonymous.)
- Here’s the kicker, all of it comes disguised as “official mail” coming from some prestigious law firm! So you know it’s definitely getting opened up by someone who is probably going to leak it toÂ the press!
Check it out for yourself with the images below!Â
If That Hasn’t Convinced You, Check Out These Very Unlikely To Be Real Celebrity Testimonials
“Politicians are like assholes. Everyone has seen at least one of them and been completely disgusted. This website rocks.” – Albert Einstein
“This is awesome! If I could tell everyone in Congress to Eat A Bag Of Dicks, I would do it all day, every day. That and smoke bails of weed.” – Oprah
“Finally I have a way to send candy dicks directly to Ted Cruz. I am going to send him candy dicks all day every day. That and smoke weed with Oprah.” – Heidi Cruz (Ted Cruz’s Wife)
Okay, so Oprah didn’t actually endorse us, or Heidi Cruz. Okay, so maybe no celebrity will openly endorse us. It still doesn’t change the fact that we have hundreds of FIVE Star Ratings and that our products are beloved by anyone who enjoys laughter.
As mentioned above, $2.00 from your purchase will be donated to the charity of your choice. Simply email us with the contact information of the charity and a copy of your receipt. We send out all of the donations on the last day of each month. We will provide proof of these $2.00 donations as well.
You might be wondering why we’re doing this.Â Well, while we feel that there are members of Congress who are good decent people, but there’s a whole lot more of them that really suck and clearly care more about themselves than listening to the American people. That sucks. They work for all of us, but it seems that most often they’re only working on behalf of the people who are providing them with big donations. Thousands of people just like you have been sending members of Congress our Bag Of Dicks products for years now. It seems to be a way for people to vent, and sometimes let the Congress member know why they’re getting a bag of dicks. It’s a way to vent and release your frustration, and you’re also donating $2.00 from a $12.00 purchase to the charity of your choosing. Seems like a win/win to us.
You will not be disappointed with DicksForCongress, or our Bag Of Dicks, we guarantee it!
So What Are You Waiting For? Congress Is So Deserving Of Your Bag Of Dicks!